The God Who Sees...

Exactly nine years ago, in a far away land, life changed for a tiny little girl, merely five months old. For reasons undisclosed, she was brought to an orphanage in need of care and nutrition. Her future was as unknown as her surroundings. She was a victim of circumstances that were beyond her control. It was nothing she did that brought this to be. She was in need, totally dependant on her new caregivers. She needed a savior.
What she didn’t know was that Elohim had known her and created her before she was in her mother’s womb. She was fearfully and wonderfully made. God had created such a marvelous child when He designed her. She was fashioned with His glory in mind. Also unknown to her, was the fact that El Roi was seeing her plight. He saw her fear and lostness. He saw her need. She was never out of His sight. She was also never out of His hands. El Elyon was and is in control. He is the Most High God, and He is working all things for His good pleasure, His glory, and for her good.

El Elyon had long since carved out a place for her in the heart of another. A place to grow and be loved, a place to learn of His Name, His character and His love. He has written a story over her life that pleases Him greatly. A plan is in place for her that will bring Him glory. What He plans He will bring to pass.
As special as she is, she is not alone. This same story repeats itself daily all around the world. Little ones find themselves in dire circumstances, in need of a food, clothing, guidance…in need of a savior. El Roi doesn’t miss even one. El Elyon has carved out places for each of these children in the hearts of unsuspecting people. Oh the stories He will write over the lives of people who are willing to take a step of faith in obedience to His call. All for His glory and His good pleasure.

Waves? "Bring It On!"

Jeremiah 5:22
Do you not fear Me? This is the LORD’s declaration. Do you not tremble before Me, the One who set the sand as the boundary of the sea, an enduring barrier that it cannot cross? The waves surge, but they cannot prevail. They roar but cannot pass over it.


My "littlest little" is now nine years old. Up until now, she has always been timid when she finds herself amid ocean swells and waves. She has always needed me to hold her, or atleast hold her hand whenever the waves were less than calm. She would delight in running from the waves, but when it came to running toward the waves, it was more like dread. There were brave moments sprinkled throughout the years, but they were few and far between. I certainly expected the first waves of the season to be endured in similar fashion. So off we go down to the beach, armed with shovels & buckets for the "less than sturdy wave riders." I am totally prepared for some sweet shell hunting and sand sculpting. But what I observed was rather unexpected. She and her biggest brother head into the surf unwaverly. I don't know if it was because she was with Mr. Fearless or what, but she was not that same wave-wary child of years past. She stayed out there for the longest time, jumping waves and squealing with delight over the very waves that used to bring dread. Curious I went out with her, and was amazed at this new perspective. She never once tried to hold my hand. In fact, I had to repeatedly ask her to stay nearer to me. She was chatting to herself,(a common occurence)when I heard her exclaim aloud, to no one in particular..."Waves are my life!!!" She fixed her gazed on the horizon, and bravely beckened the sea to "Bring it on!" I stared at my marvelously mysterious child and chuckled as I asked her, "Who ARE You?"
She looked up at me totally oblivious to my shock. I then reminded her of her past dislike and timidity of these very waves. She looked at me incredulously and said, "I'm not scared now. This is so exciting!"
She's right, you know. There is an element of living among the crashing waves that keeps us on our toes. God is so very real in the day-to-day of wave living. It is exhilerating to have to trust God for each wave that threatens to topple us in our endeavors. When our time in the high surf is done, there is much needed respite. Those waves can wear us down. After a time, however, I personally find that I am missing the wave life. I am missing not knowing when or where the next wave will hit. I rather long for that total dependance on the Lord for my next breath. And what I find is that enduring each wave, makes me stronger for the next. Those waves that used to send me running for the safety of shore, have no effect on me. The waves I conquer today, build me up to take on the challenge of tomorrow's waves. My child is learning little by little that so many of her fears are simply unfounded. These types of fears are joy stealers that block us from receiving the blessings that God has in store. I am so grateful for my past storms that have bolstered my faith. That is the reason that I long for some spiritual surf living. Whereas I was once terrified when God asked something huge of me, I now strain to hear God ask me to do another hard task. There is such sweet fellowship that happens there. Where fears are overwhelming, He is gracious to hold our hand, to reassure us that all is well. But how He must thrill when we, as His children, are overheard to exclaim, "Bring it on!"

When He Lifts You High......Then He Winks

Blown away today by the news that God did something huge for a sweet friend today. Reminded me of the image of a little kid wanting so badly to make a goal in basketball. For hours he would stand infront of the basketball goal and concentrate with everything in him to heave that big ole ball halfway to the moon (it seemed)to sink it thru the net. Time and time again, he tries, never attaining the goal. But his Father has been watching the tireless effort of the young boy. He is impressed by the dedication and sacrifice. He steps onto the court and has favor on the little boy. He lifts him high into the air, and steadies him there. The boy now sees the impossible thing as a Himpossible thing. He concentrates on the goal and takes a breath. Then when the time is right, he shoots. And, you guessed it! He scores! What a victory! He looks into the eyes of the One who holds him, and acknowledges the favor bestowed. The Father winks at him, affirming him as if to say, "I gotcha! Good shot!"

There are times when our dreams seem to big, too high, to impossible to become reality. But we are passionate, and we pour our hearts into the quest. Our efforts are grand, praise-worthy even...but not good enough. We just can't get close enough to the goal to score.It's just out of reach. That is when God desires to grant us favor. He picks us up, holds us high, and steadies us for the task at hand. What had seemed impossible is now Himpossible. So we concentrate and focus on the goal. When the time is right, we take our shot. Nothing but net! We know it was all God...all grace. We gaze on His goodness, and we're pretty sure we see Him wink in affirmation, as He reminds us that, "He's here! & He's got this!" We serve and awesome God.
Deut 31:8..."It is the Lord who goes before you, He will never leave you nor forsake you; so not fear or be dismayed."

Chosen & Grateful....Brain Freeze and All

"Wake up, Baby Girl! It's a special day!" She raises her sleepy head and stretches in response. I remind her that it's Fun Park Day for the Students of the Month, an honor she was awarded this month.

She totally had no claim over the title. As a matter of fact, she never thought she would ever know such an honor. Academics would not be considered her strength. She works hard each day to grasp what seems to come so easy to many of her friends.
She sat up, rubbed her eyes and quietly confessed, "Mama, I don't get it. How did I ever get to be the Student of the Month? I mean, nobody really knows, but I had a bad attitude with my friend last week. And I didn't make 100's on all my papers. I didn't think they would'a choosed me!"

I smiled at her, not trusting my voice to hide the lump in my throat. Her simple honesty and humility made me stop and think. How many times do we cop an attitude when we feel the least bit slighted. Maybe we feel we were a bit more deserving than the next guy; or maybe we have certainly been patient long enough. Pride is such a joy-stealer!

When afternoon came and it was Fun Park time, I met her there. She climbed off that bus with a smile that said "I can't believe I am here!" She gave me my favorite thing...a hug, and expressed her concern that another student's mom had confused the day. He looked up and explained that they thought it was the next day, so his mom might not make it. Madeline whispered that she wanted to share with him because he didn't have money for games or snack. I cheered her decision to share, and watched her grin as he accepted half of her money. She even joined him in an attempt to break the record for "Biggest Brain Freeze"...and she hates a brain freeze!

That's why, Baby Girl. You have a caring heart, a compassionate heart. You are a good friend to many. You want things to be right and you wish all people would love God and go to heaven. I'd choose you! But, then again, I already did.

Who am I? Who is my family, Lord, that you should bring us this far? Lord, may I yield any hint of entitlement to your grace. May I know the full blessing of your provision. May I be constantly blown away by the fact that You chose me.

You've Come A Long Way, Baby!

I hear it again..."Mama! Did you remember my tooth?", she calls out from her bed for the tenth time. My little one just lost another tooth. I highly suspect that she forced this tooth out prematurely, simply for the financial gain. It was not always this way......

She was five when she lost her first tooth. Only her K4 teacher can appreciate the trauma caused by the amputation of such a precious member of the body. The ordeal lasted a full month from the time the tooth first got wiggly, till the blessed moment of release. Due to fears, her world was somehow entirely rocked. Her diet changed, as she would no longer eat anything with more cosistency than pudding. Sleep was often interrupted by fears that she would lose her tooth mid-slumber and swallow it. Conversation now totally consisted of comments and queries about losing teeth. Our family and her teacher endured her fears to the best of our abilities. The whole thing finally went down at naptime in her classroom, much to her teachers dismay. It was an ordeal to say the least. Surprisingly, the drama continued, next to include the Tooth Fairy. When did the Tooth Fairy become a frightening force to keep innocent children from entering sweet & needful slumber? We stepped in and finally removed the tooth from her room and placed it downstairs, assuring her that the Tooth Fairy wouldn't mind at all. Finally sleep found us, and all too quickly, so did morning. Life goes on. We live and learn. So does she. Now a beautiful 9 year old, she still deals with her share of fears. But, thankfully, we have conquered this one. There will always be fears and trauma and oodles of drama. But each fear conquered is another step on how to trust God for each trauma that comes our way. I am so blessed to be her mama. God teaches me so much as a result. I love to watch her trade in her quaking knees for prayerful ones. She keeps my life so interesting and worthwhile. Speaking of interesting, I have an appointment with a Tooth Fairy to negotiate a fair price. Goodnight.

Gotch Day Ponderings

Her Story Unfolds

"Mama, was I an orphan?"

She questions from out of the blue.

"Yes, Baby, you certainly were,

But that was before we adopted you."

Her questions, the same yet different,

Are repeated year after year;

As she grows in understanding, and

Her story becomes even more clear.

She knows that her story is different,

So her questions are quite a big deal;

Cause she so wants to know her story

To believe what is really real.

Born with no real future or past,

A baby house in a far away place;

Now confidently knowing that she belongs

In our family's loving embrace.

So I'll always answer her questions,

As any loving mother would do;

And help her sort out her story.

I'll teach her the things that are true.

But more than anything else, I pray

As she seeks and desires to know;

That she'll see the work of God's hand,

And her faith will continue to grow.

by Diane Proctor
Oct 15, 2011

Grateful For A Shepherd

As I was doing some fence repair this mornng, God reminded me of His love for me. He brought to mind the parable of the lost sheep found in Luke15:4-6

4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep."





Somewhere between hammering loose boards, and shoveling dirt into holes, I was working out my frustration. You see, I along with my son, had a midnight mission. The mission was thrust upon us whether we liked it or not. We did not! We would have preferred to be warm in our beds. But Cheyenne, our beagle, did not consider us or our preferences. She willfully left the confines of our yard before we could bring her in for the night. We could hear the distant yapping of a beagle on a scent. If you know beagles, you know what I mean. When she has her nose to the ground, nothing else matters. She cannot be distracted from her instincts to sniff it out. It is like she has returned to "the Wild," as she goes crazy trailing the temptation. Anyway, this time the temptation lay outside of our yard. She either dug or pushed her way out and was hot on the trail when we became aware of her absence. So we put on our shoes and picked up a flashlight and the leash, and headed out into the dark misty air. The thought did cross my mind to just leave the silly dog out! But I couldn't have slept knowing that she would be roaming the neighborhood waking all the neighbors with her yapping. People, believe me when I say it is loud and constant! I reluctantly vowed to find the little dog who had gone astray. Working together, we managed to locate her a few houses down and even captured her without getting too dirty. For this I was grateful. I must confess that while I was carrying her in my arms, I certainly was not doing so in the manner listed above in Luke 15:5. Other than the sheer accomplishment of having conquered her, there was certainly no joy in my heart. I was annoyed! If I were to call my neighbors, it would not have been to rejoice, but to apologize for any disturbance. Not so with my Shepherd. When we stray, He comes after us and lovingly brings us back into His fellowship. May I reflect on His mercy and His forgiveness and His love. May I be reminded of this love the next time one of my sheep goes astray. And may I always rejoice that God has not yet seen fit to give me 100 sheep! He knows what I can manage.