Little Boys Becoming Men

I rounded the corner just in time to catch my son & his buddy stealthily sneaking down the stairs, all dressed out in tactical gear, pretending to hunt down the bad guys. This brings both amusement and sadness to my soul.







My heart laughs because my son & his friends have played like this all their lives...all eighteen years of their lives. Yup, he's not my little boy anymore. He's 6'4" of long, lean, would-be Marine. It brings a smile to my face to remember that he has played thusly all these years. It's always been his mindset. In our house camo has always been a color. Toy guns are abundant, whether they shoot paint, water, or BB's. I am accustomed to airsoft BB's all over my house(can you say "pet peave?"), weird-looking camoflauge suits hanging around, paintball or airsoft guns parts here & there. It is just normal around here.





But as I watched these two tonight, I am also saddened to realize that this time next year, they may not be playing a game. You see they have both sworn in to the USMC this summer. They are awaiting their ship dates for bootcamp, likely January, and then all this will just be a memory. The game will have become a way of life. This time next year, I will be wishing I could catch them at play. Longing to fuss about the war zone in his room. Wishing there would be just a couple of those little white BB's under the bed. It would be more comforting than wondering where my Marine is & what he's doing.

But I have long since given this child to the Lord. He was never mine to keep anyway. We, as his parents, must pour all we have into him and trust God to lead him thru. I pray that he seeks after the things of God, harder than he seeks after the bad guys. I pray that God's plan/mission is ever on his mind. I pray that he remembers whose he is. I pray that he puts on the armor of God before he ever puts on his military armor. That his most valuable weapon is the sword of the Spirit. I pray that he knows his safe harbor, in the time of storm. Our little boys don't stay little boys forever. Eventually they turn into men...hopefully men of honor & integrity. And us mama's? We just keep on praying...some things never change.

Birthday $ Cupcakes!

I have never been one to relish sticking money in a card for gifts. I seem to require a creative touch. Both of my beloved nieces celebrated their birthdays, & a money gift seemed appropriate. I wanted a new presentation & thus the hunt began. Here is the finished product.....



Cute? We loved how they turned out. Every part is useable. I just rolled up 3 pairs of colorful ankle socks, slightly narrowing the roll as I went. This way the inner sock is a little taller than the outer. Next I simply placed the roll into a silicone cupcake liner. The three pair roll fit nicely into a jumbo liner.





Next I rolled up the money(the candle) & used a tiny bit of yellow ribbon(the flame). I carefully stuck the "candle" into the center hole formed by the sock. Tada! Happy Birthday, girls!

Yes!...A Thousand Times....Yes!

The answer was YES! A strong, resounding, unshakable "Yes!" Amid a slurry of question marks & a mountain of unknowns was found a peace that passed all understanding. The question was a tough one, a scary one, a life-changer. Is this our child? Is this the one we have been seeking? Is she the one I have been holding in my heart? Is she the answer to our prayers?



I remember noting, nine years ago today, that there were no fireworks or magic moments...no easy button. But there WAS peace, blessed assurance that this was our child. After receiving the most-anticipated call imaginable, 4 days prior, Ben and I found ourselves desperately needing to hear from God. Knowing full well that our hearts were deceptive and completely untrustworthy for the task at hand, we simply couldn't breathe with out the Lord in those days. We were told by the specialist that she would need to be categorized as "high risk". We prayed together and then apart, face down in the carpet, desperately needing the guiding hand of our Creator God, of her Creator.

Sure there are risks with international adoption, but there are risks with biological births as well. The risks will always be there. Sometimes life is hard, but God's grace is sufficient. He is faithful to be found, to lead, to guide. And He never sends us on a journey without equipping us to handle the hurdles. Oh, we feel very incapable and overwhelmed at the very thought of the task. But He has indeed gone ahead and prepared the way for our timid footsteps; much like the story of Gideon who definitely had occasion to know fear's grip.

Fear and I have always been close, way too close. The story was told that as a toddler, I was occasionally lifted to the top of the refrigerator & encouraged to jump into the waiting arms of my Daddy. Don't judge...we also rode around without car seats or seat belts. My sister was always more willing to jump right off. But me? Not so much. It took a bit of coaxing from my Daddy before I would close my eyes and jump into his more-than-able hands. He would always catch me in his strong arms.

God's peace is available when I jump in faith. When I can't see what's ahead, can't plan for the next step, can't make out the path...that's when He does it. He settles my heart, places me in the cleft of the rock and covers me there with His hand. Then He blesses me richly in unfathomable ways. He deserves all the glory and the honor. He sets us up to soar for His glory. I am so glad I jumped, jumped right into His arms. It was an unforgettable ride. A journey full of twists & turns, where His presence was evident around every turn. I can't thank Him enough for the gift of this child.

He has blessed our family with four awesome kids, each as different as can be. Each with a journey of their own. May they know the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. May they know their promised land in all its splendor as they too obediently jump in faith, when the Father beckons them to "JUMP!"

The God Who Sees...

Exactly nine years ago, in a far away land, life changed for a tiny little girl, merely five months old. For reasons undisclosed, she was brought to an orphanage in need of care and nutrition. Her future was as unknown as her surroundings. She was a victim of circumstances that were beyond her control. It was nothing she did that brought this to be. She was in need, totally dependant on her new caregivers. She needed a savior.
What she didn’t know was that Elohim had known her and created her before she was in her mother’s womb. She was fearfully and wonderfully made. God had created such a marvelous child when He designed her. She was fashioned with His glory in mind. Also unknown to her, was the fact that El Roi was seeing her plight. He saw her fear and lostness. He saw her need. She was never out of His sight. She was also never out of His hands. El Elyon was and is in control. He is the Most High God, and He is working all things for His good pleasure, His glory, and for her good.

El Elyon had long since carved out a place for her in the heart of another. A place to grow and be loved, a place to learn of His Name, His character and His love. He has written a story over her life that pleases Him greatly. A plan is in place for her that will bring Him glory. What He plans He will bring to pass.
As special as she is, she is not alone. This same story repeats itself daily all around the world. Little ones find themselves in dire circumstances, in need of a food, clothing, guidance…in need of a savior. El Roi doesn’t miss even one. El Elyon has carved out places for each of these children in the hearts of unsuspecting people. Oh the stories He will write over the lives of people who are willing to take a step of faith in obedience to His call. All for His glory and His good pleasure.

Waves? "Bring It On!"

Jeremiah 5:22
Do you not fear Me? This is the LORD’s declaration. Do you not tremble before Me, the One who set the sand as the boundary of the sea, an enduring barrier that it cannot cross? The waves surge, but they cannot prevail. They roar but cannot pass over it.


My "littlest little" is now nine years old. Up until now, she has always been timid when she finds herself amid ocean swells and waves. She has always needed me to hold her, or atleast hold her hand whenever the waves were less than calm. She would delight in running from the waves, but when it came to running toward the waves, it was more like dread. There were brave moments sprinkled throughout the years, but they were few and far between. I certainly expected the first waves of the season to be endured in similar fashion. So off we go down to the beach, armed with shovels & buckets for the "less than sturdy wave riders." I am totally prepared for some sweet shell hunting and sand sculpting. But what I observed was rather unexpected. She and her biggest brother head into the surf unwaverly. I don't know if it was because she was with Mr. Fearless or what, but she was not that same wave-wary child of years past. She stayed out there for the longest time, jumping waves and squealing with delight over the very waves that used to bring dread. Curious I went out with her, and was amazed at this new perspective. She never once tried to hold my hand. In fact, I had to repeatedly ask her to stay nearer to me. She was chatting to herself,(a common occurence)when I heard her exclaim aloud, to no one in particular..."Waves are my life!!!" She fixed her gazed on the horizon, and bravely beckened the sea to "Bring it on!" I stared at my marvelously mysterious child and chuckled as I asked her, "Who ARE You?"
She looked up at me totally oblivious to my shock. I then reminded her of her past dislike and timidity of these very waves. She looked at me incredulously and said, "I'm not scared now. This is so exciting!"
She's right, you know. There is an element of living among the crashing waves that keeps us on our toes. God is so very real in the day-to-day of wave living. It is exhilerating to have to trust God for each wave that threatens to topple us in our endeavors. When our time in the high surf is done, there is much needed respite. Those waves can wear us down. After a time, however, I personally find that I am missing the wave life. I am missing not knowing when or where the next wave will hit. I rather long for that total dependance on the Lord for my next breath. And what I find is that enduring each wave, makes me stronger for the next. Those waves that used to send me running for the safety of shore, have no effect on me. The waves I conquer today, build me up to take on the challenge of tomorrow's waves. My child is learning little by little that so many of her fears are simply unfounded. These types of fears are joy stealers that block us from receiving the blessings that God has in store. I am so grateful for my past storms that have bolstered my faith. That is the reason that I long for some spiritual surf living. Whereas I was once terrified when God asked something huge of me, I now strain to hear God ask me to do another hard task. There is such sweet fellowship that happens there. Where fears are overwhelming, He is gracious to hold our hand, to reassure us that all is well. But how He must thrill when we, as His children, are overheard to exclaim, "Bring it on!"

When He Lifts You High......Then He Winks

Blown away today by the news that God did something huge for a sweet friend today. Reminded me of the image of a little kid wanting so badly to make a goal in basketball. For hours he would stand infront of the basketball goal and concentrate with everything in him to heave that big ole ball halfway to the moon (it seemed)to sink it thru the net. Time and time again, he tries, never attaining the goal. But his Father has been watching the tireless effort of the young boy. He is impressed by the dedication and sacrifice. He steps onto the court and has favor on the little boy. He lifts him high into the air, and steadies him there. The boy now sees the impossible thing as a Himpossible thing. He concentrates on the goal and takes a breath. Then when the time is right, he shoots. And, you guessed it! He scores! What a victory! He looks into the eyes of the One who holds him, and acknowledges the favor bestowed. The Father winks at him, affirming him as if to say, "I gotcha! Good shot!"

There are times when our dreams seem to big, too high, to impossible to become reality. But we are passionate, and we pour our hearts into the quest. Our efforts are grand, praise-worthy even...but not good enough. We just can't get close enough to the goal to score.It's just out of reach. That is when God desires to grant us favor. He picks us up, holds us high, and steadies us for the task at hand. What had seemed impossible is now Himpossible. So we concentrate and focus on the goal. When the time is right, we take our shot. Nothing but net! We know it was all God...all grace. We gaze on His goodness, and we're pretty sure we see Him wink in affirmation, as He reminds us that, "He's here! & He's got this!" We serve and awesome God.
Deut 31:8..."It is the Lord who goes before you, He will never leave you nor forsake you; so not fear or be dismayed."

Chosen & Grateful....Brain Freeze and All

"Wake up, Baby Girl! It's a special day!" She raises her sleepy head and stretches in response. I remind her that it's Fun Park Day for the Students of the Month, an honor she was awarded this month.

She totally had no claim over the title. As a matter of fact, she never thought she would ever know such an honor. Academics would not be considered her strength. She works hard each day to grasp what seems to come so easy to many of her friends.
She sat up, rubbed her eyes and quietly confessed, "Mama, I don't get it. How did I ever get to be the Student of the Month? I mean, nobody really knows, but I had a bad attitude with my friend last week. And I didn't make 100's on all my papers. I didn't think they would'a choosed me!"

I smiled at her, not trusting my voice to hide the lump in my throat. Her simple honesty and humility made me stop and think. How many times do we cop an attitude when we feel the least bit slighted. Maybe we feel we were a bit more deserving than the next guy; or maybe we have certainly been patient long enough. Pride is such a joy-stealer!

When afternoon came and it was Fun Park time, I met her there. She climbed off that bus with a smile that said "I can't believe I am here!" She gave me my favorite thing...a hug, and expressed her concern that another student's mom had confused the day. He looked up and explained that they thought it was the next day, so his mom might not make it. Madeline whispered that she wanted to share with him because he didn't have money for games or snack. I cheered her decision to share, and watched her grin as he accepted half of her money. She even joined him in an attempt to break the record for "Biggest Brain Freeze"...and she hates a brain freeze!

That's why, Baby Girl. You have a caring heart, a compassionate heart. You are a good friend to many. You want things to be right and you wish all people would love God and go to heaven. I'd choose you! But, then again, I already did.

Who am I? Who is my family, Lord, that you should bring us this far? Lord, may I yield any hint of entitlement to your grace. May I know the full blessing of your provision. May I be constantly blown away by the fact that You chose me.