About this time each year, the pondering continues. Reflecting back over the last eleven years, since she appeared on our scene, dominates the day. So many things that I yearn to know, yearn to recall, yearn to share with her. Not profound things, just normal things that we take for granted with our children's births. Details of her birth, likely born in a home setting, creates so many questions. Was her birth full term or was she a premie? Did she cry her robust and alarmingly, loud cry when she took her first breath? Or was she too tiny to muster that much of a cry? Was she wrapped warmly and snuggled by her biological mother in the moments after her birth, cherished like all babies should be? Was she healthly despite her tiny size? Exactly what was her size? How tiny were her little feet? Did she have raven's hair atop her tiny little head? What sweet words were spoken over her? Promises made? Were there tears and fears that seem so likely for a young mother obviously ill-prepared to parent a new born? None of these questions has given up its mysterious answer, despite the repeated pondering these last 11 years. There is so much I can't share with her, even after our recent return to place of her birth.
Meeting her daddy for the first time. Ponder that!
Meeting the orphan babe who resides in the same crib she slept in 11 years ago. Ponder that!
There is, however, much truth that I can share. No doubt, she was fearfully and wonderfully made by the God who sees. He saw her tiny figure born that day 12 years ago. He provided for her needs, however meager that might have been. He protected her and held her safely in His arms. He already knew she would be adopted into our family. Never once was she forgotten or unwanted. She has been prayed for and loved. At no time has she ever been out of His care. I am blessed to be her mother, to be the one to make her birthday cakes, to tell her stories of how God moved to write her life story. I will recall and remember all the details I can. Cause that what mothers do. We ponder and we pour into our children. We bake and decorate and light candles for each year. We pray that God grows them up and continues to write their stories to bring honor, glory and renown to His most Holy Name. Happy Birthday, my Little One! I love you more than you can know!
