Just Another Orphan Sunday

         It happens every year.  On this Sunday in November, the calendar reads "Orphan Sunday."  And every year, I feel it deeply.  It wasn't always so.  But for the last 12 years I haven't been able to escape it. But then again, I don't want to escape it.  The reality remains that 147,000,000 orphans exist worldwide.  That didn't always break my heart.  But my heart is not the same as it was a dozen years ago.  I have been personally undone and redone by this phenomenon called adoption.  I have crawled the depths and soared the heights of this miraculous journey of witnessing the unorphaning of one of the least of these.
        It was a year ago that we took our daughter back to the land of her birth. We showed her the must-see destinations and discover new treasures too.  Probably the highlight of the entire journey was visiting her orphanage for the first time in 11 years.  We are beyond grateful for this opportunity. As her mother, I am trusting that God uses this experience to grow my girl, to show her how very much she is loved, to forever change her heart as well.   It was all I could do to breathe in these moments just like I breathed in the moments of our first meeting.  So much was identitcal. The decor, the beds, the sights, the sounds and the people were all the same.  But this time, my girl walked through this baby house, not as an orphan.  She was escorted through the halls as a beloved daughter, a chosen child, a ful-fledged member of a loving family. This time, she was just visiting.  As we toured her baby room, we saw her bed.  She was given the opportunity to hold the orphan sleeping in what was her bed.  Be still my heart!  To see the unorphaned holding the orphan, is a moment unfit for words.  Forever changed...again.  There is just no way to get beyond this reality.  147,000,000 orphans...each with a face, a name, a purpose, a need.  I will always be a part.  I can't help it.  It is a part of me now.  And for this, I am forever in His debt.  For I too, am no longer orphaned.  I am undone by God's love and faithfulness.  He redeems it all. 

The UNORPHANED holding the ORPHAN 

Thing 4 Turns 12!!!

       About this time each year, the pondering continues. Reflecting back over the last eleven years, since she appeared on our scene, dominates the day.  So many things that I yearn to know, yearn to recall, yearn to share with her.  Not profound things, just normal things that we take for granted with our children's births.  Details of her birth, likely born in a home setting, creates so many questions.  Was her birth full term or was she a premie? Did she cry her robust and alarmingly, loud cry when she took her first breath? Or was she too tiny to muster that much of a cry? Was she wrapped warmly and snuggled by her biological mother in the moments after her birth, cherished like all babies should be? Was she healthly despite her tiny size? Exactly what was her size? How tiny were her little feet? Did she have raven's hair atop her tiny little head? What sweet words were spoken over her? Promises made? Were there tears and fears that seem so likely for a young mother obviously ill-prepared to parent a new born? None of these questions has given up its mysterious answer, despite the repeated pondering these last 11 years.  There is so much I can't share with her, even after our recent return to place of her birth. 

Meeting her daddy for the first time. Ponder that!

Meeting the orphan babe who resides in the same crib she slept in 11 years ago. Ponder that!

 

There is, however, much truth that I can share.  No doubt, she was fearfully and wonderfully made by the God who sees.  He saw her tiny figure born that day 12 years ago.  He provided for her needs, however meager that might have been.  He protected her and held her safely in His arms.  He already knew she would be adopted into our family. Never once was she forgotten or unwanted. She has been prayed for and loved.  At no time has she ever been out of His care.  I am blessed to be her mother, to be the one to make her birthday cakes, to tell her stories of how God moved to write her life story.  I will recall and remember all the details I can.  Cause that what mothers do.  We ponder and we pour into our children.  We bake and decorate and light candles for each year. We pray that God grows them up and continues to write their stories to bring honor, glory and renown to His most Holy Name.  Happy Birthday, my Little One! I love you more than you can know!

February 10th...Amazing Day!!!! Three Huge Hallelujahs!!!

Amazing Day!!!!  Three Huge Hallelujahs!!!

February 10th is HUGE at this house!!! Sixteen years ago, we honored this guy's birthday in a once-in-a-lifetime kinda way.

We wished him "Happy Birthday" with the birth of his 7th grandchild!  Yes, indeed he no longer owns the day, but will share it with this guy...

Sweetest baby ever!!! Easy going and so kind-hearted,

even as a wee lad! 

 Gotta love this boy! Quiet and creative and still so loving. 

Love that he'll still give his mama hugs in public! 

 

 Now, this day, he is sixteen! How? When? Love this unassuming, peaceable, patient, easy-going kid! Happy Birthday, Micah!

While this child was making his entrance into this world, his big sister was making spiritual history. She was in 1st grade at SCA, when she felt the call to accept Christ as her Savior and Lord. She prayed to receive Christ and was born again on the very same day that her little brother was born. That makes for a very special day, anyway you look at it! Happy Spiritual Birthday to my amazing daughter, Miranda!

This day can't hold any more goodness!  All praise to the Lord! 

 

11th Birthday Reflections

The ground was covered in a layer of snow, one day eleven years ago.  It was not your average day.  It like NEVER snows in Baku, Azerbaijan! Something else about that day made a mark on history.  It was the day she was born.  What I would have given to be there, to see this miracle, to know the begining of her story.  I have imagined it hundreds of times.  These are details that I may never know this side of heaven. I choose, therefore to focus on the things that I do know...

        *She has been wanted every day of her life....God placed her in my heart before she was ever born.

        *There has never been a day she has been out of His care, though I was not priviledged to
be her mother until she was nearly 10 months old.

       *This child was fearfully and wonderfully made.  To know her is to know the truth of this claim.

       *God uses her mightily in my life. When I look at her, I see God's hand of faithfulness.

       *She has a HUGE HEART for others in need, the likes of which is rarely seen in a child her age.

       *I did not approve of this birthday, but it seems I have no choice, but to watch her turn another year older; to celebrate what heaven celebrates; to give thanks to the Lord for making it so.

       *To remember with an unspeakable love and gratitude, the birthmother who gave so unselfishly to choose life for the child we both call daughter.  May I never take her for granted.   I pray that God meets her at the very point of her need, out of His limitless resources, to bring His PEACE & LOVE to her heart.

       *To wish my baby girl a very HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Disclaimer: If the hamster you got today for your birthday gets loose in this house, I am not to be held responsible for my actions. 

Ten Year Gotcha!!!

Every October ushers in a change of season with crisp fall air, beautifully changing leaves and pumpkin-flavored everything. But around our house October means Gotcha Day. And this October celebrates a milestone 10 Years!!!  It was ten years ago that God forever changed our hearts and lives with this child. 

It was ten years ago that God forever changed her life as well.  He changed her name, her world, her future and her story.  No longer was she an orphan, she became our daughter.  She was a tiny wisp of a babe, (15LBS fully clothed in winter attire) when we walked away from the Baby House that day. Not quite 10 months old, she had already been down a hard road. But God!  He is quite the Creator, ya know.  To have crafted this sweet thing with all her intricacies still blows my mind. I have always prayed that God would use her story to be the seed that grows her faith. I can't give her my faith, but I can recite God's faithfulness over her life, time and time again.  Every year she grows and matures before my eyes. God has birthed in her a love and compassion for others...for orphans.  Oh My Heart!  To be so young and determined to change her world is such an answer to this mama's prayers. I sit back in awestruck wonder and watch her heart look more and more like the heart of God.

This past summer she was moved by a sermon preached at church about adoption and the plight of the orphan. She came home resolved to make a difference. She boldly told me, "Mom, I want to raise money for orphans. I will start The Orphan Company and I will sell brownies and bracelets and raise $100 for orphans!" She had it all figured out and she was on mission!  I supported her 100% in her mission. I watched as she started beading bracelets for friends. I taught her how to follow directions, measure and bake brownies.  After three days of baking and selling brownies, this girl can crack and egg like a boss!  Oh, and then some mothers requested bracelets. We decided to design a bracelet for those with more grown-up tastes.  It was quickly dubbed "the Orphan bracelet" with it's unique O-ring design that reminds us to pray for orphans. Fast forward 3 months, and prepare to be amazed at the faithfulness of our Lord.  By this time, she had chosen 2 adoptive families to receive the Orphan Company money.  They were each adopting 2 orphans. So money raised will assist in bringing home four more orphans. My prayer is that she sees the Sovereign hand of the Lord in this experience. She gave her little & God made it much.  Much more than her goal of $100.  He blew us away!  Don't you love it when God leaves you awestruck?  On the weekend of her 10yr Gotcha Day celebration, she presented these families with their gifts. It was a lovely moment. One that we will never forget. She has seen the first 2 of those orphans lose their orphan status and come home to their loving families. Hopefully she will meet them soon.  We are still trusting God for the other two precious orphans to come home.  God is faithful & good.  God is in the details and the timing.  I can't think of a better way to celebrate our 10yr Gotcha Day than that!  I love what God is doing in the heart of my little world changer.  May He continue to work in my heart as well. 

 

A Special Moment in Time

It was ten years ago, this day.  We were just minding our our business, when totally unexpected.....wait, who am I kidding? It was the moment this mama had been waiting for, week after week after week. Sue, our dear program director, called with the best news I could think of. She called to tell us about the answer to our prayers, the little girl our hearts had waited to know. This thing called adoption is not for the weak of heart.  When you sign on, you sign your future over to the sovereign hand of the Lord. But, really, who better to handle the details of life than the One who Created it all?  I am confident that My Father ordains the stops, the starts & the stalls in my life.  I can't fathom all the details that had to come together in order for that little girl to find her way into our hearts, into our family.  And He does that for each of us, for the least of these, because that brings Him delight.  He sees the orphan, and He promises that He will not leave them. He will come to them, through the hearts of you and I.  We stepped out in obedience, jumping through hoops on city, county, state, national & international levels.  We waded through piles of paperwork and prayed and prayed and prayed.  We learned quickly that we had zero control over the timetable. But God!  He was working all things together for good. 

And when it was time, when she was ready & when we were ready, the phone rang.  I grabbed a clipboard & pen, and began feverishly writing down every detail, while blinking through the tears.  We would wait another 20 hours before our eyes would behold this adorable child. 

 

God surprised us with so many of the details of her description, and challenged us with others.  None of it caught God by surprise.  He was in every detail.  The waiting room was necessary for me.  God was growing my faith as each silent week passed.  Trust Him in the waiting room.  He sees. He knows.  He spent time in the details.  Oh, the glory that is seen in the details.  I will never get over Him, or His love for us, or for this child.    

A Most Memorable Memorial Day....Both Then & Now

It was Memorial Day in the year 1995.  My little man, two at the time, managed to make it memorable.  When I got him up from his nap, he explained to me, that his throat hurt because he "fwallowed the needle from the other hole."  I begin feverishly looking for pins or needles in his bed linens...to no avail. He adamantly repeats, "I fwallowed the needle!"  So I tried a new approach & asked him to show me the other hole. He points to an empty screw hole from his bed rail. He had apparently backed out a short screw & accidentally swallowed it. Oh Great! Now what?  Off to the ER we went.  Knowing the, shall we say 'dislike for doctors' expressed by my boy, I began to prep him for the experience as if it were a grand adventure to the hospital.  I prompted him to greet everyone who came up to him with a cheerful "Hello! I fwallowed a screw!"  He did wonderfully! He told everyone...including a police officer in the hall. The officer looked at me, & having no defense, I could only smile sheepishly & shrug. What is a mother to do?

After x-rays, we found that his screw had passed through his stomach without damage and entered his intestines. We now had to wait for him to pass the screw for as many days as it may take. We were given instructions on what red flags to watch for & hopefully that would be the end of it.  So for a full week, we examined each & every dirty diaper for this missing screw...a full, long, memorable week!  Finally it appeared! We breathed a sigh of relief, while holding our noses, & life went on.

So, fast forward about 17 years to another memorable Memorial Day.  For this year, marks the first year I can say that I am a Marine Mom. I am mother to one of our nation's finest.  So I have had a brand new vantage point from which to view this special day.  I am both proud & humbled by this new role. I am much more grateful for the sacrifices made by our nation's heroes, because I have a personal investment this time. My boy has chosen to walk this road, to serve our country, and protect her freedoms, no matter the cost.  I fully support him & others like him with my whole heart.

From the time he was born  till this day and on for years to come, God has been growing my boy, preparing him for a great work, equipping him for a special task.  I have no idea what that day will look like, or what that task might be. But I trust God to continue to grow my boy for His kingdom's purpose.  I am so grateful that I could pick up the phone today & hear his voice. Many cannot.  I will be his biggest cheerleader and encourager.  Just as I prepped him for his hospital adventure, I encourage him now, to seek & serve the Lord with all his heart, mind & strength.  I want him to serve people, meet needs & make a difference as a world changer.  So I guess you could say that not so much has changed. Well, one thing HAS changed.  My boy no longer snacks on screws.  These days he munches on bullets!

Mother's Day....The Call

Well, it finally happened. For the first time in all my years of motherhood, I was not with all of my dear children for this sacred holiday called Mother's Day. For the past 21 Mother's Days I have been privileged to see each of my beloved children face to face on this most auspicious of days. But this year, things were different. Something was missing, as I knew it would be...not bad, but different. This morning I beheld three of my sweet children, received all sorts of goodies & treats. I was given a book of poems by my youngest, even a hand-made cup & saucer from my eldest. Lunch was wonderful, cause I didn't have to cook or clean it.  All now treasures in my sentimental heart. But what made it complete was the call. That much anticipated moment when my cell phone lit up, a hint that a call was coming through.  I dropped everything & stared into that screen, waiting...finally the ring sounded. Did I let it ring twice? I don't think so! On the other end of that call was my Marine, my boy, wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. This time he calls from training school. Next year...who knows where he will be? Now I understand & never will I take for granted that I always have my kids gathered under my roof for Mother's Day. I will long to hear from them, all the same. My heart goes out to all those whose children are unable to call, or, God forbid, unwilling. I've shed a tear today for all the birth mothers out there who may not receive a call. As an adoptive mother, I get that. I grieve for those moms who have lost their beloved children too soon.  Never again will I take it for granted.  I'll be reminding all my friends to call their mothers. Because that's the way it should be. You just never know when life will change & you can't go back. By the way, have you called your mama?

Tribute to Thing #2

He rocked my world over nineteen years ago, when he arrived on the scene. Strong-will and determination were evident from the very start. I knew I had my work cut out for me from the second day I knew him, and he was only 2 days old. James Dobson would have been proud to know he’d be selling another copy of The Strong-willed Child. I had to learn to stay one step ahead of him, for he has always been very smart. When he was eight months old, I stood him up to see how long he could balance. The little stinker walked to me! He never looked back. As a child, he never lacked for anything to do. Never once did this child whine that he was bored. To be honest, many of the things he found to occupy his time with were certainly unlawful for a child his size. I am sure that many a boy has crafted his own bow and arrow set out of nature & found items. But my boy took it to another level when he attached nails to the ends of his arrows. He has always been self-reliant and persistent. Like the day that we were teaching his big sister how to ride her bike without training wheels. Her father and I would take turns running up & down the driveway trying to keep her from running into pine trees, while the other of us was working the video camera. Meanwhile, our three year old decided that anything she could do, he could do better. He helped himself to a set of wrenches. He settled into the task to rid himself of his training wheels. He had already removed the first and was nearly done with the last one, when we realized what he was doing. Knowing how determined he was, we knew the best way to persuade him, was to let him learn the hard way…crash & burn speaks louder than a parent at times. Poor little thing couldn’t even reach the ground to start or stop himself. He pulled his bike over to the little driveway wall and mounted his bike. To our utter amazement he rode, without our help! The only problem was stopping. His only recourse was to fall, since he couldn’t reach the ground. After a few crashing stops, he conceded to allowing us to put the training wheels back on, just until he could reach the ground. He always found the line with his authority, and would often shove his big toe over to see what he could get away with. He was a great soccer player, although perhaps a bit too aggressive & reckless. He received his share of yellow cards for dangerous play. It was his last career game, before aging out of the system, when it finally happened…the dreaded red card! He was out for the rest of the game, the championship game. Luckily his team did win. But my boy was crushed that he was carded for rough play. And weapons? He could make a weapon out of most anything. Popsicle sticks, clothes pins, you name it, he could use it. Loves paint ball, airsoft, hunting, etc. He would buy an airsoft rifle and paint it to look like the real thing. He would make modifications to tweak it & make it the best his money could afford. It pains me to tell this story, but there was one time when the police were involved. I still get nauseous recalling this memory. One day, years ago, his younger brother fetched me with a casual “Mom, there are some people at the door who need to see you.” I scurried down only to find a swat team (my motherly exaggeration) and my teenaged son on the front porch. Officers with shields are holding my terrified son, who is handcuffed, by the way. They asked to see his rifle. An officer followed me up to his room where I found his airsoft gun and gave it to the officer. I told him it was a fake gun. But he took it. Apparently the mail carrier, bless her heart, had ”seen a shooter in our second floor window” and called the police. He had just modified his gun & had been sighting it in. Apparently a plastic BB ricochet off the tree he was aiming at & she thought someone was shooting at her. After a few moments, one of the officers clued me in that there was no real danger, or issue. They wanted to teach my boy a lesson. I agreed. They impounded his gun for thirty long days and he issued an apology for scaring the poor mail lady. While impounded, that gun surprised many an officer that thought it was a real assault rifle. Lesson learned, again the hard way. These are just a few of the highlights of the boyhood of my young man. I treasure each one of the many memories. I really could have written a book with this child. He was truly wonderfully and fearfully made. God chose to design this boy with a strong-willed determination and a spirit that never gives up. He birthed in him a strong patriotic spirit and a need to right injustice. For as long as I can remember, He has wanted to serve in the military. He leaves this weekend to follow the next step in that dream. He leaves for boot camp in the USMC. It will be the hardest job he’ll ever love. People ask how I feel about his choice. I can’t say it is at all a surprise, or that I didn’t see it coming. I have pictured him thusly so many times. With his camo PJ’s and a military-style buzz cut, asleep under his camouflage blanket, somehow I knew. In the quiet moments I knew God was preparing my boy for this day. I have had much practice praying for this child, so I shall feel right at home interceding for my young man. As he steps into this journey, my heart and my prayers go with him. He can do this! He will make a fine Marine. I pray that he holds to the faith that has carried him this far. I pray that the God that saw fit for him to grow into manhood, would be very close to his heart. I am thankful that so many of his friends and mentors are godly Christians, who will be praying for him.

So, yes, he receives my blessing to go and be all he can be, to serve his country proudly, to represent his family with honor & integrity, & most of all represent Christ to a world that needs Him desperately. I am proud of his decision to become one of the few, the proud, the Marines.

To Believe or Not to Believe...

Thanksgiving & Christmas are my favorite time of the year. It brings families together, as well as bringing out the best in each of us. We, like many, enjoy the spirit of Christmas. I thrill to the magic of all that is Christmas. We do, however, teach our children the true meaning of Christmas over & above the whole Jolly Ole Santa Clause story. Each of our 4 kids has enjoyed that part of Christmas as a historically based, fun make-believe part of the holidays. We never scoffed or forbade the mention of Santa, just stressed the true meaning of Christ's birth instead. We had fun with a fun tradition.

Well, interestingly enough, my daughter has been caught up in a friend's Elf on a Shelf drama from a prank at school. Whatever the details, she has come to the conclusion that Santa must be real & we have been wrong all this time. She believes this so strongly, that she drew me aside privately and held an intervention on my behalf. While riding home from school, she asked if I could meet in the dining room when we got home, saying she wanted to have a meeting with just me. Of course, wanting to be there for her, I said, "yes." Let's just say she was well prepared with a case to present. She took me aside & closed all the doors, then she seated me at the dining room table. She looked into my eyes and began to plead her case. "Mommy, I know you don't really believe in Santa, & I know that Christmas is really about Jesus' birth and all, but I just need you to listen. Mom, you've heard of the naughty list, right? Well, if you don't believe, Santa will have to put you on the naughty list! Mommy, I don't want you to be on the naughty list!" she pleaded. "I know what you think, but, wait...I'll prove it!"

With that she darted out of the room & returned with a talking teddy bear. I do love this teddy bear! It wears a fur trimmed red coat, and holds a very special book, "Twas the Night Before Christmas." When you press his paw, he sweetly animates the telling of the entire story. Well, she made me sit & listen to the whole story, as told by her sweet little bear. If I interrupted, she started the telling over again & begged me to listen & believe. Trust me, keeping a straight face was most challenging. She was so serious. When the bear had finish reciting the story, she turned to me and said, "See? This proves it!" Gotta love her proof text! There I sat, not quite sure what to say. So as she so often did, she kept talking. "I know! Here's what you can do. Just Don't put anything in our stockings this year, Mom. And just BELIEVE with all your heart, & then wait and see! A few days later, we asked her siblings if they too wished for their stockings to remain empty in hopes of a more jolly stocking stuffer to handle the task. They all agreed to stick with our current family tradtion. I asked again when she went to bed if that was really what she wanted. She nodded, but added, "Mom, can you come down early in the morning and check to see if it is still empty? Then, if it is, you can fill it up for me." So, sadly her empty stocking hung empty as I went to bed.

The scene the next morning? Pretty much what you'd expect. Her stocking didn't remain empty for long. Just couldn't do that to the dear child. Later when we discussed my early morning findings, she seemed to be fine with it. I asked her what she had learned from her experiment. "Nothing, really. We forgot to put out cookies for Santa, so that's why he didn't come. So, we don't really know. Maybe we'll find out next year." And that was that. All the drama...for what? So, I guess we'll all have to find out next year. Story to be continued. And I heard her exclaim, er she ran off to play, "Merry Christmas, mom. We'll leave cookies next year!" Fortunately, we don't have to wait till next year to learn the truth... Luke2:8-12... "And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Finding Treasure in Tragedy

A few months ago, I began searching for something special for Madeline’s Gotcha Day. Since she is so very interested in all things pertaining to Azerbaijan, that is what I focused on. It has always proved difficult finding things from the land of her birth. I happened upon a lovely old teapot and set of tea glasses from the market in Baku. It was from the very market street I delighted in strolling up and down during our stay there nearly 9 years ago.

I purchased the item, thrilled at the thought of seeing her delight over her own authentic tea ware. The shipment took a little longer than anticipated, but finally arrived. I picked up the rather smallish box and preceded to open it in secret. When I saw the box’s contents, my heart fell. The beautiful old teapot was broken beyond repair. Only two of the six chai glasses survived shipping. I was crushed and disappointed. I set the box to the side, not yet ready to throw it out. I had plans for that teapot, and now it was ruined.

Days went by and the box remained. I just couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. I am a trash-to-treasure kind of girl. I kept thinking that the tea pot could be redeemed. I got busy dreaming up a project. Broken china screams mosaics, right? I had no experience with mosaics, but how hard could it be, amen? I decided to make a tray for serving our tea. I began breaking the china up into smaller pieces, and designing a bit of a pattern onto an old wooden tray that I had tucked away. It took many hours/days to complete, but finally it was done.I surprised her with it this morning. She loved it! It is now a treasure.

I am especially grateful for the lesson learned in all of this. I love that all those broken pieces, once thought to be worthless, could be refashioned into something with purpose, gift-worthy even. I explained to Madeline, who had been as broken-hearted as I, that what had once appeared to be damaged goods, was now creatively repurposed into a one-of-a-kind tea tray that we will enjoy for years to come.

I can’t help but think about adoption. Like it or not, every adoption has a sad, heart-breaking side. There are children in need all over this world. For countless reasons, the original plan or path for those children has been crushed beyond repair. These tiny creations of the Father end up in orphanages, foster systems, or living on streets in dire situations. Sadly we are, for the most part, untouched by this reality. Many hardly allow themselves to think of the plight of these little ones. Maybe they fail to understand that apart from Christ, they are in the same peril. Our sin has left us broken and without hope. But God loved us enough to send His Son to redeem us. He has adopted us into His family. We live as children of the King, thanks to His mercy & grace & love.

"He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." 2 Samuel 22:20

These children may be broken and even damaged, but they are still God’s creations. Every life matters. Every life has worth. God loves them and has a plan and purpose for each one. He is calling His church to rise up and be His hands and feet for these kids. Maybe He is calling us to adopt or volunteer or give, but He is calling. Scripture tells us that …”True religion and undefiled before God and man is to visit the fatherless and widows in their afflictions, and to keep yourselves unspotted from the world.”

A Mother's Perspective

I can tell you now, I shall not be receiving the Mother-of-the-Month award this month. Ever have one of those moments when you know you've blown it? Welcome to my world. Thing #3 had mentioned that rather than repair his broken glasses, he needed a new prescription "cause these don't work anymore". This was months ago. But I let it go...too long. Rewind to when he first got glasses 2 years ago, the doctor was surprised that he could even notice the slight vision difference. But since he was squinting, we got the boy some glasses, which he wore when he needed them. Fast forward to the time when they were damaged & almost fully repaired. They just didn't feel good on his face, so he rarely wore them. Fast forward again to his mention of needing a stronger pair of glasses. My first mistake was to view his appeal for new glasses, from the perspective of his original request for glasses. I just assumed he was overly sensitive to the change in vision, and thought that it might be a slight variation since last time. So putting it off for the summer seemed perfectly fine. I mean, a girl's gotta procrastinate sometime, right? My goal was to get it taken care of before school started, since my last homeschooler was now moving back into a classroom for highschool. But that is a different post altogether. Fast forward to last week at the doctor's office, when he is asked to read the smallest line he can. Well, you know that giant hand-sized "E" at the top? My son could read the row right under that...with both eyes. I was feeling very smallish by now. When the doctor came in looking at the chart, he said, "Wow! Have you been worried about him, Mom?" Ashamed, my shoulders dropped as I confessed that unfortunately I had not been overly concerned, due to the past track record. I felt horrible! My kid has been walking around with such a distorted perspective on the world, & I was both careless and cluless. I quickly withdrew my application for Mother-of-the-Month, and set about to make things right. Now, he has new corrective lenses' and is amazed at the world around him. Trees have leaves, faces have features, etc. I have learned my lesson. I must be more proactive with my kids' vision.

Of course there is a spiritual parallel to this posting. As loving parents, we simply can't walk around assuming that our kids are seeing life through a proper perspective or worldview. Vision changes throughout life. It is our responsibility to be proactive to check and/or provide corrective lenses when needed. To let our kids go through life with blurred vision is just irresponsible parenting. Providing a biblical worldview is so much more vital than providing them with the latest gadget or fashion accessory. So here's to praying that I don't drop that ball with my kids. May I not procrastinate when it comes to their worldview. A proper perspective is the least I can provided for these children gifted to me for such a short while.

2012 Summer Olympics…Family Style

There’s just something about the Olympic games! I love it! Love the patriotism, the competition, the stories, the commercials…all of it! When I, otherwise, wouldn’t care to sit & watch a sporting event, I find myself staying up late, just to see who takes the medal. Before long I’ve developed a love for our countries’ athletes, as well as a few international ones. I admire their dedication to their sport. I am awed by their skill, their passion & their determination. They push way beyond themselves to represent their countries proudly.

We had a bit of an Olympic summer ourselves. I challenged our youngest and most fearful child, to make this “the summer of the dive.” This darling nine year old took my challenge and then surpassed my expectations. She began working on her dive with new fervor, and it paid off. She is now a delighted and decorated novice diver. I am so proud of her! To raise the difficulty level of her sport, she moved beyond her comfort zone of the pool to diving into the deep murky waters of Lake Chatuge. Up until now, she has echoed the sentiments of young Tantor, from Disney’s Tarzan. “Are you sure this is sanitary? Looks questionable to me!“

She also came up with her own self-challenges this summer. She conquered her fear of waves at our beach trip, with the help of her biggest brother. Rather then dreading those waves, now she duck dives right thru them. Another skill she developed was riding her bike with no training wheels. Falling down has always been deterrent enough to keep her from trying. Yet this was her time to step up to that fear and prove to herself that she could do this. And do it she did…without falling!

Now, I’m not saying that my child can do these things better than your child, or that she is anywhere close to Olympic level diving, swimming, surfing or biking. But she has definitely made it through the qualifying rounds. I am proud to support my little athlete in every way I can. I pledge to encourage her and lead her to Jesus with each and every fear she faces in her lifetime. I am sure there will be plenty of Olympic-sized fears or failures in her lifetime. But I also know that she is learning to face those fears one at a time, and go the extra mile to achieve the next honor. Think I’ll keep my pom poms and my tissues handy.

Phil 3:13-14 > “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Little Boys Becoming Men

I rounded the corner just in time to catch my son & his buddy stealthily sneaking down the stairs, all dressed out in tactical gear, pretending to hunt down the bad guys. This brings both amusement and sadness to my soul.







My heart laughs because my son & his friends have played like this all their lives...all eighteen years of their lives. Yup, he's not my little boy anymore. He's 6'4" of long, lean, would-be Marine. It brings a smile to my face to remember that he has played thusly all these years. It's always been his mindset. In our house camo has always been a color. Toy guns are abundant, whether they shoot paint, water, or BB's. I am accustomed to airsoft BB's all over my house(can you say "pet peave?"), weird-looking camoflauge suits hanging around, paintball or airsoft guns parts here & there. It is just normal around here.





But as I watched these two tonight, I am also saddened to realize that this time next year, they may not be playing a game. You see they have both sworn in to the USMC this summer. They are awaiting their ship dates for bootcamp, likely January, and then all this will just be a memory. The game will have become a way of life. This time next year, I will be wishing I could catch them at play. Longing to fuss about the war zone in his room. Wishing there would be just a couple of those little white BB's under the bed. It would be more comforting than wondering where my Marine is & what he's doing.

But I have long since given this child to the Lord. He was never mine to keep anyway. We, as his parents, must pour all we have into him and trust God to lead him thru. I pray that he seeks after the things of God, harder than he seeks after the bad guys. I pray that God's plan/mission is ever on his mind. I pray that he remembers whose he is. I pray that he puts on the armor of God before he ever puts on his military armor. That his most valuable weapon is the sword of the Spirit. I pray that he knows his safe harbor, in the time of storm. Our little boys don't stay little boys forever. Eventually they turn into men...hopefully men of honor & integrity. And us mama's? We just keep on praying...some things never change.