11th Birthday Reflections

The ground was covered in a layer of snow, one day eleven years ago.  It was not your average day.  It like NEVER snows in Baku, Azerbaijan! Something else about that day made a mark on history.  It was the day she was born.  What I would have given to be there, to see this miracle, to know the begining of her story.  I have imagined it hundreds of times.  These are details that I may never know this side of heaven. I choose, therefore to focus on the things that I do know...

        *She has been wanted every day of her life....God placed her in my heart before she was ever born.

        *There has never been a day she has been out of His care, though I was not priviledged to
be her mother until she was nearly 10 months old.

       *This child was fearfully and wonderfully made.  To know her is to know the truth of this claim.

       *God uses her mightily in my life. When I look at her, I see God's hand of faithfulness.

       *She has a HUGE HEART for others in need, the likes of which is rarely seen in a child her age.

       *I did not approve of this birthday, but it seems I have no choice, but to watch her turn another year older; to celebrate what heaven celebrates; to give thanks to the Lord for making it so.

       *To remember with an unspeakable love and gratitude, the birthmother who gave so unselfishly to choose life for the child we both call daughter.  May I never take her for granted.   I pray that God meets her at the very point of her need, out of His limitless resources, to bring His PEACE & LOVE to her heart.

       *To wish my baby girl a very HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Disclaimer: If the hamster you got today for your birthday gets loose in this house, I am not to be held responsible for my actions. 

You've Come A Long Way, Baby!

I hear it again..."Mama! Did you remember my tooth?", she calls out from her bed for the tenth time. My little one just lost another tooth. I highly suspect that she forced this tooth out prematurely, simply for the financial gain. It was not always this way......

She was five when she lost her first tooth. Only her K4 teacher can appreciate the trauma caused by the amputation of such a precious member of the body. The ordeal lasted a full month from the time the tooth first got wiggly, till the blessed moment of release. Due to fears, her world was somehow entirely rocked. Her diet changed, as she would no longer eat anything with more cosistency than pudding. Sleep was often interrupted by fears that she would lose her tooth mid-slumber and swallow it. Conversation now totally consisted of comments and queries about losing teeth. Our family and her teacher endured her fears to the best of our abilities. The whole thing finally went down at naptime in her classroom, much to her teachers dismay. It was an ordeal to say the least. Surprisingly, the drama continued, next to include the Tooth Fairy. When did the Tooth Fairy become a frightening force to keep innocent children from entering sweet & needful slumber? We stepped in and finally removed the tooth from her room and placed it downstairs, assuring her that the Tooth Fairy wouldn't mind at all. Finally sleep found us, and all too quickly, so did morning. Life goes on. We live and learn. So does she. Now a beautiful 9 year old, she still deals with her share of fears. But, thankfully, we have conquered this one. There will always be fears and trauma and oodles of drama. But each fear conquered is another step on how to trust God for each trauma that comes our way. I am so blessed to be her mama. God teaches me so much as a result. I love to watch her trade in her quaking knees for prayerful ones. She keeps my life so interesting and worthwhile. Speaking of interesting, I have an appointment with a Tooth Fairy to negotiate a fair price. Goodnight.

9/08/03....A Day To Remember

Eight years ago we journey half way around this world to meet our daughter for the first time. She was a treasure worth searching out.....and still is. Mommie loves you sweetheart!


TREASURE OF THE HEART


I remember as though it was yesterday,
the events that took place that day.
With excitement beyond description,
to Azerbaijan we had made our way.

This journey was unlike any other
in the eyes of this anxious mother.
For the treasure ahead was our daughter;
and a child is a prize like no other.

I held my breath and strained to see
the treasure she held so lovingly.
My heart beat wildly, I refused to blink
as the caregiver walked straight to me.

I beheld the most beautiful baby.
She was tiny and cute as can be.
I could hardly believe it was real,
when this treasure was handed to me.

I held her and I breathed her in,
memorizing her face, round and pure.
This child was the one I had prayed for!
She is much loved and wanted, for sure.

For so long I had dreamt of this moment,
and I'll always remember this day.
For this baby was born in my heart,
and in my heart forever she'll stay.

copyright
Diane Proctor